Dedicated specifically to widows, each month WIDOWS’ FORUM will discuss challenges widows face on the daily, as well as solutions, tips, and tricks for navigating a new life—a new tomorrow. Monthly, the WIDOWS’ FORUM will spotlight individual widow’s lives and what changed for them after losing their spouse, as well as how every widow can change their perspective by focusing on a happy, full, and inspired life!

As I travel the country promoting my book, Losing My Widow Virginity—the Ins and Outs of Navigating My First Years, I’m often asked how I made it through the holidays. You know—how to put on a happy face even though I wanted to lock myself in my bedroom and cry. I get it. My first year as a widow? I didn’t give two shits about the holidays, and it was only out of obligation for my non-profit to donate food to help others, did I emerge from the depths of my misery. By managing to fight through the sorrow and depression, I reclaimed my joy for Christmas by giving to others! Doing so, I changed my focus from feeling miserable to feeling happy and fulfilled.

You see, when you give to others, you’ll find your heart incredibly full with little room for feeling hollow, sad, or depressed. Allow the meaning of the holidays to illuminate you by enjoying friends and family and, when you do, you’ll realize your husband is with you, enjoying the conversations. In fact, he’s always with you, comforting and loving you.

Enjoying the holidays is all about giving yourself ‘permission’ to have a good time—it’s giving to yourself. It’s validating YOU have the strength to make it through difficult situations. That said, don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to lean on family and friends if you falter—they understand. And, one more thing . . .

There is happiness in your future, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling joy!!!